Top 10 List: Reasons For Women to Love Being Single

TOP TEN REASONS FOR WOMEN TO LOVE BEING SINGLE

This list is inspired by an article I saw in Cosmopolitan Magazine that had top reasons to love being single… they included ridiculous things like being able to buy low fat cheese not the full fat stuff boys like – pardon? Why wouldn’t I want fat in my food? If I’m taking the fat out of the food I may as well just eat lined paper.

Or another reason to love being single according to Cosmopolitan Magazine is “You’ll never know who you’ll have sex with next.” And if by “who” they mean what kind of Bryers Ice Cream, and by ‘have sex with’ they mean eat the entire tub of… well then Yes I guess I’m inclined to agree with that statement Cosmo.

Here’s the REAL Top Ten Reasons to Love Being Single…

#10 If you forget to brush your teeth before bed there’s no one to feel self conscious around when you wake and have morning breath… because the dog sure won’t care. And if your dog is anything like my dog, Bowie, judging by how he licks my mouth in the morning, he will really like it!

#9 When something around the house breaks you don’t have to watch your other half stubbornly try to fix it. That’s when you call the sexiest plumber/electrician/contractor to come fix it. And when he shows up at your house, ever so suggestively ask him something like if he has an extra pipe you can have because it’s been a long time since you’ve had your hands wrapped around a pipe and you could really use a big pipe right about now. The trick is to not be too obvious about it.

#8 You can lay in bed all day reading Fifty Shades of Grey…and by reading I mean aptly scanning the good parts… over and over and over and over again.

#7 You don’t have to try to look cool in front of your partner by pretending you are above the gossip regarding Kristen Steward cheating on Robert Patterson. You can Google it all you want and cry at your computer. WHY KRISTEN??WHY????

#6 Never having to remove body hair. Sure laugh at my moustache now, but when I’m stuck on a deserted island with a bunch of shaven non-single women and I’m the only one with long and strong enough armpit hair to fashion a rope and lasso some sea turtles… we will see who will be laughing then…

#5 Whip cream directly from the can… into your mouth. Why dirty a dish?

#4 Basketball Season, Hockey Season, Baseball Season, Soccer Season, Football Season… try Ice-Cream-Sundaes-and-80s-Movies-Season YEAR ROUND!

#3 Never ever having shut the bathroom door. For anything. Ever. In fact, I just took right off its hinges; it gives my apartment a nice open concept feeling.

#2 Three Words: Hot Water Bottles. They don’t snore; they don’t steal the covers; and they don’t try to do you at 4am while you’re sleeping because they had an erotic dream.

And last but not least. The number one reason to love being single…

#1 Those precious moments when the moon is out and the world lies still around you… and you lay on the couch after eating a huge meal and let one RIP so hard it makes your neighbours’ TVs flicker. Heaven, my friends, is never having to hold in your farts.

Top 10 List: When Singledom turns into Spinsterhood!

So at some point as a single woman, you have to recognize that you may be single forever. It's a slow and ongoing process but I'm getting there day by day. And so, I have created a Top 10 List to help the transition from being a Single Lady to being a Spinster.

TOP 10 THINGS FOR WOMEN TO DO

WHEN TRANSITIONING FROM SINGLEDOM TO SPINSTERHOOD!

#10 As a Spinster one of the greatest dangers is slipping and falling in the bath tub and going unconscious.
Step 1 - Teach dog (or cat) to break into the bathroom
Step 2 - Teach dog (or cat) to stop licking the shower curtain long enough to raise the alarm

#9 In the event you run in to old highschool or post secondary acquaintances, have a back story about a fake successful boyfriend or fiance. It's just easier than saying your single.
My 'boyfriend' is named Gregory Dorkschlester. He is a dentist... in Afghanistan. I think he's going to propose this Christmas!

#8 Buy the entire MacGuyver series. My fave episode is when MacGuyver hits his head and goes back in time to the renaissance era, and he has to MacGuyver his way out of death and go head to head with Merlin. Also... you learn his first name. SPOILER ALERT... It's Angus!

#7 Dressing up your pet and taking pictures of him is a perfectly acceptable way to pass the time...

#6 Reorganize you closet so all the sweatpants and hoodies are in the front, and easily accessible. Put all your 'fancy' 'sexy,' and 'going out' clothes in the back, or preferably in an off site storage unit. That way you will have more room for your pet costumes

#5 Try to book your doctor appointments on weekends so when people ask you to do something with all couples you can say you already have immovable plans. Bonus if you can book a pap test and then you can say got some action on the weekend

#4 Origami

#3 READ! LOTS! Some really great pieces of literature with strong female characters: A Doll's House, The Bell Jar, Hamlet and Hedda Gabbler

#2 When your friends tell you they are going to have a baby, Congratulate them while seizing up whether or not there could be enough resemblance for you to move to a different city and pass the baby off as your own. (Baby Savita, you're safe. Baby Arabella... I think you will really like Calgary)

#1 Make sure your cupboards are always stocked with comfort foods, like Cheetos. And vodka.

Hope that helps!
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NEXT WEEKS VIDEO BLOG WE MOVE BACK TO THE TOPIC OF ONLINE DATING:

Top Ten Reasons to Delete Him

Online Dating in Big City: A Necessity!

I figured it out! Being from a small town I always felt there was this shadow hanging over the notion of online dating. I mean, Really, I have to meet people on the INTERNET? Why can't I just meet them in real life...

After my latest trip home and Bonnaroo Music Festival in Tennessee I figured it...

For 4 solid days I was surrounded by 100,000 people (the population of my hometown) but in a field in Manchester Tennessee where the 11th Annual Bonnaroo Music Festival was held. For 4 days, I found myself talking to more strangers than I have all year. And really talking to them with genuine interest. I'm laying outside my tent and someone comes by to ask 'how it's going' and genuinely wants to know; I'm standing in line to the bathroom and someone asks 'what band are you going to see today' in an effort to connect; I'm waiting urgently to use the porta-potty and someone is more interested in where I come from then pretending no one else is around them and staring straight ahead. 4 solid days of this type of genuine interaction, which also happened to be preceded by a visit to my small town where I couldn't walk by an individual without being acknowledge. It took me at least until my third person nodding/smiling at me as I roller bladed around the lake to realize that they were just being friendly, and that it indeed felt strange to be acknowledged by a stranger because I had been living in a big city for too long.

After only a mere 7 months of living in a big city, I caved to the pressure to act like everyone around me who was not involved in my immediate world just did not exist. It's like every interaction is that type of awkward people-on-an-elevator-ignoring-each-other type of interaction. We're all standing there, thinking the same thing... this is so awkward I just want it to be over! Or dear GOD, someone please break the silence. As we all stare at the numbers of the floors as they go by until the elevator will stop and ease the tension. Anytime I'm around strangers in close quarters (in line for a coffee, sitting outside of a coffee place, browsing the movie rentals etc.) I feel that awkwardness.

After being in my small town followed by 4 days at Bonnaroo Music Festival I was sitting outside a coffee place back in Toronto; three men walked by me in a 2 minute span, almost brushing my leg to get by, and didn't bother to even glance my way or acknowledge my presence. Is it really that difficult to tilt you head a few degrees upward and smile? After weeks of being free of societal constraints, weeks of acknowledging other human beings who have no direct impact on my life and I may never see again, I started to feel the awkwardness slip back into place... 

That's when it dawned on me - how are you supposed to meet people in a big city? You just can't because of the complete isolation in which everyone lives. If you're not in someone's immediate reality then you don't exist.

Why is it only acceptable in small towns to talk to strangers and acknowledge each others existence, or crazy hippie (or this year 'hipster') music festivals. Why do we as a society opt to online date instead of meet people in real life... we are too... what?? Too afraid to talk to strangers in real life? Too embarrassed because society doesn't not accept it or WORSE we may get rejected in person? I get it, I play the online dating game too... but I wish I didn't have too. So we resort to the impersonal internet. And the truth is, as I have mentioned before, it actually takes way more effort. I can tell if I like someone with a few minutes of talking to them in person, while online I have talked to people extensively only to meet them in real life and find the chemistry was all fabricated.

It's unfortunate, but its a necessity in a big city. Naturally there are benefits to online dating, as in geographical location is not necessarily a precursor any longer to people getting together. But at the same time, it would be nice to have the option to see someone in a store, per say, strike up a conversation and perhaps take it from there. The fact that that sort of interaction is not really an option is the unfortunate part.

One of the couples I hung out with at Bonnaroo Music Festival had actually met a Bonnaroo 2 years ago! How amazing is that, they had a mutual friend somewhere in there, but it's really the atmosphere that makes it conducive to meet new people. You don't have that in Toronto or big cities. When is the last time you opened a genuine conversation with a stranger?

By the way... here's me on the WHAT STAGE at Bonnaroo in front of who knows how many 10s of thousands of people having a stage party. You can see me at about 1:15 on the right side, front of the line in the Rainbow Cowboy hat. (sigh)Why can't interacting be like this in every day life? Less thinking and caring about what society thinks and more... well more DANCING IN RAINBOW COWBOY HATS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZzZShY-6JY

Worst Online Dating Pick Up Lines: The Best of the Worst

You really have to wade through a lot of crap while online dating; for every good guy/message you receive you really get 30 or 40 terrible ones! Here are some of the 'best of the worst' introduction emails and statements I have gotten from guys just in the past few days...

Plenty of Fish:

THIRD RUNNER UP:
MESSAGE: Hi [Mags],
this cute young doctor and his gorgeous physiotherapist girlfriend are taken by your elegant beauty, invitine smile, and sense of style.
We'd love to send pics if your curiosity is piqued at all - we're an attractive couple! =)
How was your day?
K + S 


I probably get an email a week asking me to join a threesome; I wonder if I give off that threesome vibe or something...
The sad thing is that the people who are looking for a threesome actually send some of the nicest sweetest emails. So maybe my interest is peaked a little... kidding... i think... ask me again in a few months when the desperation kicks in...

SECOND RUNNER UP:
MESSAGE: Your profile, I swear I’m going to print it out and post it on my fridge for all my
friends to admire! Keep up the good work you adorable lil nerd :)

Here's the kicker... Plenty of Fish keeps track of all your correspondences, I received the EXACT SAME MESSAGE word for word from this guy on May 17th...
This actually happens a lot. Guys probably don't even realize that this happens; so, being the nice person that I am, I actually responded to him to inform him of his 'mistake'.
MY MESSAGE TO HIM: You emailed me this exact same message on May 17th ...FYI...Plenty of Fish keeps track of shit. A little originality goes along way, you know.

Hey, it may help him out in the future. I wonder if he has that pick up line memorized or if he copy and pastes it from his clipboard. Needless to say, he didn't message me back. Either way, you're welcome for the reality check Dude.  

FIRST RUNNER UP:
MESSAGE: Hey your hot ;) how much ;$
MY MESSAGE TO HIM: Way too fu$king much for you

THE WINNER:
MESSAGE: Hi Gorgeous,
Wow!!! Mind blowing!!! how come someone so gorgeous like had to come here. I mean guys around you have to be blind. I think God probably took years off to make his this masterpiece. Anyways,My name is [edited out, you're welcome douchebag] and I would like to get to know more about you and possibly ask you out on a date for that.Would be a pleasure to get to admire your beauty in real life sometime. Let me know of you would like to consider this as well if not.
Cheers

Ummm... I think I just vomited in my mouth a little bit. Ladies, no one is really falling for this are they?? Please tell me know. Another copy/paster but this guy must actually have no social skills - either that, or he only tries to get girls with the worst self-esteem and daddy issues on the planet.

ZOOSK

THIRD RUNNER UP: The over dozen message I received with just a phone number and two words "text me".

Idiots. Again, I ask myself who does this really work on?

SECOND RUNNER UP:
MESSAGE: Your eyes are totally blew me away! i'm going to try to bust out something original and tell you that i'd love to build a sand castle with you on Fiji : ) LOL. I’d love to chat - send me note if you do like to get to know me a little bit better Cheers PS, I was born in England and i have been in Toronto from past 5 years, Hoping good to hear from you :)

FIRST RUNNER UP:
MESSAGE: Hellpp

Ya Sweetie, I know - you need it, real bad. I feel I should inform the authorities for your own safety.


THE WINNER: 
MESSAGE: Hi [Mags} , i,m not i get msgs back on here it,s weird , if younwould like to chat i,ll leave my cell if like to text me , 4one 6 seven 3 eight 77 [rest of number edited out]


WHAT THE FU$K DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME???

FREE ONLINE DATING: You get what you pay for...

Online Dating: Hot Girls/Ugly Guys?

Lindsay Lohan was in New York having dinner with Woody Allen...

Nice going, eHarmony.com.

A Dairy Queen commercial that is running currently, features a couple that met online on their first in person date. She of course is attractive; he of course is a typical 'accountant-going-bald' type...

The common perception of online dating is the girls are hot, guys are ugly - here's what the Online Dating Landscape looks like...
To describe the online/singles scene I'm going to use a GROUP DATE I actually went on:
I dragged two of my beautiful, single friends to an online singles group get together facilitated by  Meet Market Adventures - dot com
http://www.meetmarketadventures.com/index.php
Some of the realizations/perceptions regarding this group date are connected to online dating. 

Here's a closer ANALYSIS of the GROUP DATING EVENT: Who was there, what I rated them, the final analysis of the event

1. Number of singles: There promised to be 160 people at this event, which took place in a downtown Toronto bar...and their could very well have been. Out of 160 Singles/maybe 20 were men. I know because I talked to all of them easily due to the getting to know you game the organizers set up.

2. Rating of singles: Here's How I would rate the people at this event on physical attractiveness...

The Guys:

Michael Moore

 Here's the rating scale:

1 - Michael Moore, Carrot Top
2 - Voldemort, Gary Busey
3 - Steve Buschemi, Danny Devito
4 - Napolean Dynamite, Mr.Bean
5 - Russel Brant, Jerry Seinfeld
6 - Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller, Tom Hanks, Steve Carell
7 - That Vampire from Twilight, Both Wilson Brothers, Nicolas Cage, Denzel Washington  
8 - Michael J Fox, Will Smith, Zac Efron
9 - Channing Tatum, Johnny Depp
10 - Chris Pike/Brad Pitt/Young Harrison Ford/Young Robert Redford/Dean Martin

Chris Pine

 Most didn't dip down below 4 but I don't think anyone was higher than a 6! I would say they were 35+ and most of them seemed successful in their careers as many of them had just moved to the city from out of province/country for work.


The Ladies:

Here's the rating scale:

Joan Rivers

1 - Joan Rivers 
2 - The Orange Girls from Jersey Shore
3 - Charlize Theron in Monster 
4 - Joy Behar
5 - Kathy Griffen on a good day
6 - Ugly Betty, Kristen Dunst
7 - Tina Fey, Reece Witherspoon, Jennifer Anisten, Claire Danes, Sarah Jessica Parker
8 - Scarlett Johanssen, Natalie Portman, Emma Stone
9 - Halle Barry, Jennifer Lawrence, Beyonce  
10 - Rachel MacAdams, Catherine Zeta Jones, Keira Knightly

Catherine Zeta Jones

Most women were around the 7 mark; with a handful easily hitting the 8-9 mark, and only a few ranging 4-6. Again the ages were probably 35+ same as the men, many woman (again, who I talked to on account of the games) were successful in business.
With all these beautiful woman, why do so few men turn out...

3. My Analysis

Why did so few men turn out to such an event, and why were the ones that did so ... lack luster? ESPECIALLY when there were so many Tina Fey's and Natalie Portman's around!

A) Type of event: it was a free event (most events on Meet Market Adventures cost money; they cost money because they are usually 'Adventure Dates' that require equipment/instructors etc.) As with online dating - FREE doesn't always attract the right type of guy. One guy I spoke to in particular only went to the free events... he was probably 5.5
B) The event location: the event was held at a bar - perhaps a different type of person would choose to go Rock Climbing, and for example some of the men at the event I'm sure would not necessarily sign up for Rock Climbing. Back to my fishing analogy - in this case you need the right bait for the right fish.
C) More women are desperate! Okay, not desperate, I'm kidding! BUT I think it's fair to say that perhaps women just want it more; want to be in a serious relationship more (especially younger women, who perhaps like me have a biological clock ticking inside and don't want to wait until our 40s to settle down). Again, when online dating (especially on Plenty of Fish) I find I come across more men's profiles that say they are looking for 'nothing serious'.

For those of us who are Marisa Tomei's in My Cousin Vinny...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7J-2EIvItVY

... with our biological clocks ticking, don't rush the process.

That clip is perfect for displaying the landscape of Online Dating - A babe like Marisa Tomei (easily an 8, maybe a 9 in that cat suit) would really be with Joe Pesci (5 tops) - thank goodness dating is not all about looks anyway - lets boost Joe Pesci to a 6 for his feisty little personality.

The online dating scene is unbalanced; there are a quantity of guys, but not necessarily quality. It makes online dating tough, sure, but so what? So we have to work a little harder, keep tossing our nets out because who knows what we will reel in one day.
 

The Online Dating Handbook

As a woman who grew up in a small town, ONLINE DATING was (and pretty much still is) non-existent, barely acceptable, and misunderstood. I have experience with FOUR ONLINE DATING SITES at the moment: Plenty of Fish, OkCupid, Zoosk, and Eharmony. I will blog about each of these later in more detail if you need help deciding which one to join or have some stories/opinions of your own.
 
For now, here is the ONLINE DATING HANDBOOK according to me; keep in mind, I'm someone in search of a long term relationship, and that desire guides the handbook.

Online dating consists mostly of guys having to chase girls. So yes, it must be difficult to be creative and to catch a girls attention when she is getting 20+ messages (depending on the site) a day. But as a woman getting 20+ messages a day we need to be able to sift through these using a systematic methodology.

1) THE PROFILE NAME: The name tells a lot about a person
Here are a few examples of people to delete
Guys with 3Xs - 'XXX' in their name i.e. EXXXtaticGuy101
Guys with 'the one' in their name - I don't think so, buddy
Guys who are too sensitive - i.e. if I see in their names something like - serenity, poet, sunset, heartbroken - that's just my personal taste
Guys who associate themselves with a sports team i.e. LeafsFan101 (really?! why do I care)

2) THE PROFILE PICTURE: So crucial! Because you can not only decide if you're attracted to the person, but you can tell many things about the person.

Here's who to delete immediately:
The picture of the abs in the bathroom mirror - insecure or overly confident and self centered, probably only wants to bang you.

The picture of the fancy car/guy in fancy car - if he is making it clear that he has a BMW or Lexus he is probably making up for something else... 

The picture of the guy with one or many 'hot chicks' - this is ploy a guy will use to show you, 'hey, look, I'm super cool/hot - if I wasn't wouldn't I be surrounded by hot chicks' - a secure guy wouldn't need to play this card

3) THE MESSAGE
If a guy passes the Profile Name/Picture Test, here's who to delete based on the message:
The "Hi" - a guy who just says hi, hello, a greeting with no content. Just because it's online dating it doesn't mean you can't put any effort into it.
The physical compliment - Yes, I know I have a beautiful smile, oh you think I'm the most beautiful woman on this site... Ladies don't fall for this! I know we all could use a little ego boost, but if the guy only bothered to look at your pictures he probably doesn't care as much about your insides as your outsides...
The generic message - saying you like my profile is not enough - if he doesn't specifically comment about something directly on your profile delete him. 

4) THE PROFILE: If he passes the picture test, looking at just his stat card can tell you whether or not you want to pursue him.

Things to look at:
Height - Personally, I don't date guys that are shorter than me
Kids - If he has kids, if he wants kids. I'm not at that place in life where I want to be 'daddy's girlfriend',  and I want someone who is at the very least 'open to having children' - this one you'll have to decide on your own. But don't compromise your decision in a moment of desperation. If you're absolutely not open to someone with kids (as I am at this point in my life) don't compromise because it will only get tricky later.
Education/Career - at this point in my life, I'm not willing to accept someone who has only a high school education. Why? because of the path of life
What he wants from the dating site - most dating sites will tell you a man's motivation, i.e. if they are looking for 'dating, but nothing serious' - If a guy makes it through the picture test, and the stat card he can still strike out here. Again, this is a handbook for someone looking for a serious relationship. It's good advice in any dating situation to make sure you're on the same level as someone, with the same expectations so that you don't go into it with the wrong expectations. And NO - you probably won't be the one to change that guy's mind about being in a serious relationship... Ladies, throw that fish back in the lake!


5) THE WRITE UP: Here you get to hear his voice, it's time to read between the lines as best you can. Do your best!
Here's who I always delete:
A guy's profile that is longer than yours - either he is in love with himself, or he is super desperate
The 'No Drama' - A guy who goes on about his past relationship, i.e. if he talks about the terrible ex-girlfriend or break up he had and how he is looking for someone with 'no drama' or baggage, chances are he has some of his own.
He is not looking for anything serious, just wants to see what's out there - don't indulge it

I follow these guidelines when online dating because lets face it, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and I just don't have time to go on a date with all of them. Follow these guidelines with some tweaking for your personal taste, and it will make the process that much easier.

   

First Online Date: What (BLEEP) Am I Going to Wear??

One of the BEST things about online dating versus 'real dating' is that you can do it in your sweat pants!
While I online date I'm usually wearing an old boyfriends flannel pj bottoms, my hair up in a greasy bun, glasses instead of contacts, and I'll be lucky if I remembered to put on deodorant...

It's easy to get away with because lets face it, the pictures online do the speaking for you. But here's the catch, no doubt the handful of pictures online were the best of the best of the best that are out there, so that means the first date there is a ton of pressure to look good. As good as you did at your best friends wedding (the half hour before you got into the vodka); or that time you looked away from the camera by accident, but it ended up being the best profile shot you of you in existence (your very own Blue Steel...).The key is to look good, but not like you tried ridiculously hard. 'Oh this old thing, I just threw it on.'

SO WHAT THE (BLEEP) AM I GOING TO WEAR ON MY DATE?!?

As I mentioned on my very first Online Date I wore a great outfit... but now that its summer, boots and jeans may be a little out of place depending on the weather. Here's some great looks that are put together, APPROPRIATE, but not like you've tried on everything in your wardrobe before you decided upon your outfit (though I highly recommend doing that... just in case)

Christian Dior: Pre-Fall 2012 Line: This is my fave look! It is the ultimate meeting up in the evening look. It's perfect. 

Bottega Veneta: Resort 2013 Collection. Beautiful for a dinner date.

Michael Kors: Pre-Fall 2012 Line. Love it for a drink in the evening. The cut is poweful, the pattern is friendly.

Band of Outsiders: Pre-Fall 2012 Line. With a vintage cut and pattern, this ain't yo' gramma's dress. Board games, drinks, a band, this dress can really do it all and its great for accessorizing.

Michael Kors: Pre-Fall 2012 Line. Yup plaid is back (did it ever leave??) Coffee at the hipster Cafe in the hipster part of town.

Valentino: Spring 2012 Line. A maxi dress with some structure. Beautiful for a picnic, lunch on a patio, going down to the waterfront. (Below) Same Spring line, but the flowiness of the dress gives it a more romantic look...

 

Calvin Klein: Pre-Fall 2012 Line. Strong lines but the cut makes the dress seem sweet - a brighter colour would be better for summer. Wear with heels for an evening look and with flats for a great lunch date.

Christian Dior: Pre Fall 2012 Line. The perfect Lunch date dress, for hopefully the perfect lunch date.

My First Online Date and My First Big Lesson

After a few months in the big city and realizing the only way I was meeting guys at the time was at the bar, I realized I had to expand my network. That's when I psyched myself up for and filled out two profiles (one on Plenty of Fish and one on OkCupid) - I know people who have found relationships on both but have heard Plenty of Fish referred to as Plenty of Fu...(ya, you know what). After a month and a half of online dating, I had greater luck on OkCupid because it did seem that all the fish on Plenty of Fish wanted was to ... you know what.

So the time came for my first OkCupid date. One of online dating biggest faults is that makes you feel like you have Dating A.D.D. (Attention Deficit Disorder). You're talking to one person about something and another person about something else; then the conversation goes on hiatus for a few days while you jump back into the real world. You try to get the conversation back on track if you can, or just give it up if you've already lost interest. It's just hard to keep focused at times.

Despite my feelings of Dating A.D.D, there were a few guys that I talked to online regularily (most from OkCupid). And there was one guy in particular that I ended up talking to online for steadily, then via text with (mostly at his persistence). The chemistry felt great, so we decided to meet.

For our first date we were supposed to go to a Board Game Cafe (I loved the idea, I feel he knows me so well already). I was dressed casual sexy - nice top (not too much cleavage - don't want to give the wrong impression), skinny jeans and sexy boots. This should be the first date uniform for an online evening date - if you're dressed fancier because the location calls for it, you may be going somewhere TOO fancy for a first date.

When we arrived at the cafe and they are running behind and can't seat us, so we end up going to a hipster little bar and having a few beers and what I thought to be a great chat. When we finally arrive at the cafe we decided instead to buy a game and take the fun to his apartment instead. Let me just interject here that IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. I had genuine intentions of just hanging out and continuing the date which I made perfectly clear: "Just so you know, I'm not having sex with you"... I'm very direct, as you should be when it comes to online dating. I can't wait until I'm on a terrible date and within 5 minutes say its not working and just walk out... back to the date...
With a glass of wine in hand we proceeded to play games (pinball and foosball) and ok, we may have kissed by the evenings end.
On my way home I get a text from him making sure I made it.

First Date Rating: I give it a B maybe even B+

So days go by and I don't hear from him. But the first date went great, so I'm super confused... until I realize that another feature of Online Dating other than Dating A.D.D is you're simultaneously dating multiple people. It's pretty rare to be focusing in one person the way people used to in the 'olden days'. I find out that same week he has 'developed feelings' for another girl he was also dating. After the momentary feeling of rejection I realize relief starts flooding my body. Suddenly I think of all the reasons I would never really date this guy; all the reasons I would break up with him by 3 months times; all the things I was looking past because when online dating you just want it to work sooooo bad. People have this notion that online dating is easy. It's not. It may in some ways be harder than 'real dating' in the same way a task may be harder for someone who actually has A.D.D; they have to focus harder to get the task done. And because the process of online dating is so annoying for someone who just wants to be in a serious relationship you just want that first date (and every date) to be the LAST one. We want it to end! So, it was the first lesson I learned in online dating; don't take it so seriously. Don't force it into something it's not just because you want to be in a relationship.
I think that's good advice in general, but we sometimes we need a little reminder and I'm glad I learned it so quickly in my online dating escapades.
After that I took a short break from online dating because I really didn't have the time and energy to sink into it, AND I thought 'who wants to be on a computer in the summer' ... then I received wedding invitations one after another in the mail... decided to give it another shot. Can't wait for my next date!

Eharmony: Your Online Dating Pimp

Of all the online dating websites I am on, Eharmony is the only one for which I pay a membership fee. The price is easy to rationalize; it's only half the cost of my gym membership, a fraction of a tanning membership, and what I spend in a week for fancy iced coffees could cover a month of online dating easily.
The part that is not as easy to rationalize is the fact I'm paying for it. Why does this bug me? Maybe because it makes me fell a little pathetic? As if, I'm so desperate for a date that I have to pay just for the POTENTIAL of someone to go on a date with?

The thing about Eharmony and paying for online dating, as opposed to the free online dating websites, is that it DOES give you a different (and I'm going to go ahead and say BETTER) calibre of man, as well as men with different INTENTIONS (say, for a long term relationship); I don't think guys are going to pay $30+per month just to find girls to they want to bang, when they can do it for free.

The only issue with Eharmony is that it (the website) does all the matching for you. They claim their questionnaire, which is mandatory to fill out, covers 29 key areas "that help you develop a great long-term relationship," is what makes their site so effective. Now, I don't really know how this questionnaire works, but for those who are anything like me I want to find someone that is the OPPOSITE of me not LIKE me; I want someone who has similar values and morals, but is opposite of me tempermeant wise. I'm passionate, firey and quick tempered; I need someone who is composed, easy going and patient. Someone who can chill me out, and maybe someone who I can UN-chill a little too.

Unlike other sites you CANNOT surf for matches; they are generated and sent to you by Eharmony.
And they will send you matches when they have them for you. On my first days I received 29 Matches - out of this I responded to 6! That's 20% - Which is actually AMAZING -  There are plenty of times I go on Plenty of Fish have over 20 emails and delete ALL of them.

I just started Eharmony recently, but so far so good. For now I'm going to get over paying for it... atleast until I see how the dates go... 

Gone Fishin': Online Dating

Maybe it's true what they say. Maybe there are plenty of fish in the sea... If my childhood taught me anything it's that real fishing is not as easy as Sesame Streets' Bert and Ernie would have you believe. It's not like you just get in a boat and call 'here fishy fishy fishy' and they hop right in the boat. Fishing, is much more complicated. You actually have to know what you're doing. It's an acquired skill, that takes years of practice and many failures before you can achieve any ounce of success. 

For starters...You have to make sure you have the right bait for the type of fish you want to catch; you have to know where to drop your line; you have to know when it's time to reel it in for the day and just take a lunch break; and most importantly you have to be able to recognize when the fish you caught is to small and that you need to throw it back, instead of talking yourself into keeping it.

And you know what, they are right ... their are plenty of fish in the sea. If you don't catch the fish you want, don't blame it on the fish, blame it on the fishing. If you're sitting in a boat calling 'here fishy fishy fishy,' in REAL life you're going to get exactly what you put into it. I've had to learn that the hard way (Thanks for the misguidance, Ernie!). And the only thing that gets my through it all is knowing I can share the experiences, for better or for worse... Here are my adventures in fishing...